I have written a book and am quite proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I’m asking friends and family to spread the news about this essential read.
This book on golf gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my 10+ years of golfing experience.
Chapter 1) How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli ball from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3) How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 4) When to Give the Curator the Finger
Chapter 5) Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m
Chapter 6) How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 7) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 8) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee
Chapter 9) When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
The book also includes some GOLF TERMINOLOGY
Ø A Paris Hilton – an expensive hole
Ø A Diego Maradonna – a nasty 5 footer
Ø A Salman Rushdie – an impossible read
Ø A Rock Hudson – thought it was straight, but it wasn’t
Ø A Cuban – needs one more revolution
Ø An Elton John – a big bender that lips the rim
Ø An Adolf Hitler – two shots in the bunker
Ø A Yasser Arafat – ugly and in the sand
Ø A Kate Moss – bit thin
Ø A Gerry Adams – playing a Provisional
Ø A Rodney King – over clubbed
Ø An O. J. Simpson – got away with it
Ø A Princess Grace – should have taken a driver
Ø A Princess Di – shouldn’t have taken a driver
Ø A Ladyboy – looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
Ø An Elephant’s arse – high and shitty
Ø A Condom – safe but didn’t feel real good
Ø A Sister-in-law – you’re up there but you know you shouldn’t be
I have copies in stock but I anticipate a rush so be quick and ensure you don’t miss out!
Please pass this information to anyone who you feel may benefit from my expertise.