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He said, “I’d like you to, uh, put a sample in that.”
I said. “What now?”
He said, “Poss.. if possible. Yes.”
Now I said, “I can’t do it now!”
I said, “You know, if I were a young man every five minutes,
I could have done it. But I’m an older man now.
I. I really can’t do that.”
He said “Well, take the jar home and do it as soon as you can and bring it back.”
he said. “You fill it.”
I said, “Fill it!?”
He said, “Give me a measurable specimen and come back with it.”
I said, “All right!”
Now I’m in misery now. This bloody jar, I’ll take it home. I’d go in the bathroom.
It’s years since I locked myself in the bathroom.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a humiliating thing for a man of my age.
Have to do this well, I, I thought,
Well, try it differently than you used to,
so I tried it with my left hand.
I thought it might be a novelty.
You know, I damn nearly sprained my wrist after 10 minutes.
You know, I So I’ve got a I’ve got a dodgy elbow,
but I switched to the right hand. Still no results.
So, I… I called on the wife to help.
She wrapped a cloth around it and dried both hands.
She said, well, we went on for about half an hour then.
Then her mother had a go. Bless her. What a woman! What a woman.
She tried it with her teeth in.
She tried it with her teeth out.
Ladies and gentlemen, we could not get the lid off that bloody jar!