This Week’s Jokes
I thought I’d share a few ‘silly’ jokes this week – so you’ll have one per day.
Monday.The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. Continue reading
Author Archives: stevecurtis2012
Well, well!!
Well, well!!
A vicar and his curate were playing golf on their day off.
The ball went into the rough – a slightly wooded area.
They went in search of the ball and came across a well.
I wonder how deep it is, asked the curate.
I’ll throw a pebble in and we’ll listen, said the vicar.
Marriage Councelling for Eileen and John
Eileen and her husband John went for counselling after 25 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. Continue reading
Bad Neighbour email trail!
This is a very funny email trail, starting with a hand written letter, from one neighbour to another.
It is an absolute must.
Please take the time to read.
Accompanied by a hand drawn sketch, it starts:
“Dear Neighbour,
Due to your new terawatt floodlight shining through our bedroom window
like a small but intense sun, I have removed the lamp and placed it in
your letterbox.
Regards David”
Please see the responses to each other Continue reading
Golf Advice?
Subject: Golf Advice
A man goes to a golf pro for some advice.
‘Well, what should I do?’ asked the man.
‘Hold the club gently,’ the pro replied,
‘just like you’d hold your wife‘s breast.’
Continue reading
The Farmer and the Little Old Lady
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
Resetting the password
I had to tell you this one – it is very typical for many of us!
‘Resetting the Password’
“Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired – you must register a new one.”
roses
“Sorry, too few characters.”
pretty roses
“Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character.”
1 pretty rose
“Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.”
1prettyrose
“Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters.”
1fuckingprettyrose
Russians with dashboard cameras – scary
WOW – some people in Russia are extremely lucky to escape with their lives – see this footage taken from Russian dashboards!!
Link to follow: Continue reading
A few new funnies (I think new!)
A Few New (I think) Jokes
An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?’ Continue reading
Music video – ‘Back Home’ by Ross Curtis featuring Mike Blackmore
Amusing, West Country , nostalgic music video story
StevesFunnies.com 