- How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. ·
- Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! ·
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. ·
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. ·
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. ·
- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. ·
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. ·
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. ·
- I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now. ·
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. ·
- I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. ·
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. ·
- This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. ·
- When chemists die, they barium. ·
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down. ·
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. ·
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils? ·
- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. ·
- Broken pencils are pointless. ·
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. ·
- I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. ·
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. ·
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. ·
- Velcro – what a rip off!