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The Perfect Man.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” 

Passenger: “Who?” 

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.” 

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.” 

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.” 

Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.” 

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A pilot father’s discipline with love

Most people today think it improper to discipline children,
so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they
have had one of those moments.


Since I’m a pilot, one method that I have found very effective
is for me to just take the child for a short flight during which
I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on
his or her behaviour.

I don’t know whether it’s the steady vibration from the engines,
or just the time away from any distractions such as TV, video games,
computer, iPod, etc. Either way, my kids usually calm down and
stop misbehaving after our flight together.

I believe that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an
important element in achieving the desired results.

I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son,
in case you would like to use the technique.

Please see the photo………………………..

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Hot Air Balloon

This is a British political joke: (You might have gathered by the ‘Hot Air’ Balloon!)

You need to know the three main parties:

Liberal, Conservative and Labour – there was a coalition between the Conservatives and Liberals.

 

The Story:

A woman in a hot air balloon realised she was lost.

She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.

She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

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The kids named Terry in Liverpool

LIVERPOOL CLASSIC!

A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids. >

‘WOW!’ the social worker exclaims, ‘Are they ALL > yours?  ‘Yeah, they are all mine,’ the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, ‘Sit down Terry.’ All the children rush to find seats.

‘Well,’ says the social worker, ‘you must be here to sign up. I’ll need all your children’s names.’

‘This one’s my oldest – he is Terry.’

‘OK, and who’s next?’  ‘Well, this one is Terry, too.’

The social worker raises an eyebrow but she continues, one by one, through the oldest four boys, all named Terry.

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