This Week’s Jokes

I thought I’d share a few ‘silly’ jokes this week – so you’ll have one per day.

Monday.The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

Tuesday. A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time….

Wednesday. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they’re still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they’ve lost the plot!

Thursday. My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!  Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web….

Friday. I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Saturday. I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

Sunday. I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy’s heading for a breakdown..

Boom boom!!