Category: joke
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This week’s funnies
This Week’s Jokes I thought I’d share a few ‘silly’ jokes this week – so you’ll have one per day. Monday.The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
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Well, well!!
Well, well!! A vicar and his curate were playing golf on their day off. The ball went into the rough – a slightly wooded area. They went in search of the ball and came across a well. I wonder how deep it is, asked the curate. I’ll throw a pebble…
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Marriage Councelling for Eileen and John
Eileen and her husband John went for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.
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Golf Advice?
Subject: Golf Advice A man goes to a golf pro for some advice. ‘Well, what should I do?’ asked the man. ‘Hold the club gently,’ the pro replied, ‘just like you’d hold your wife‘s breast.’
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A few new funnies (I think new!)
A Few New (I think) Jokes An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?’
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New Nursing Home for Pensioners
A New Senior Medicare Program You’re a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians.
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My Proposed Golf Book, the Highlights and Terminology
Dear Friends, I have written a book and am quite proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I’m asking friends and family to spread the news about this essential read. This book on golf gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have…
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A few ‘Oldies’ Jokes
Joke 1 (of 6) An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would…
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Anger Management
When you have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know – and someone who deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a…
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Disciplining the Children
Most people nowadays think it improper to discipline children, so a friend of mine has tried other methods to control his kids when they have had one of ‘those moments.’ Since he is a pilot, one that he has found very effective is to just take the child for a…
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