This is a British political joke: (You might have gathered by the ‘Hot Air’ Balloon!)
You need to know the three main parties:
Liberal, Conservative and Labour – there was a coalition between the Conservatives and Liberals.
The Story:
A woman in a hot air balloon realised she was lost.
She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
A Scottish café has become a social media hit thanks to its daily pun-filled sandwich board signs which have delighted customers.
Social media users are sharing the signs created by staff at the seafront Inversnecky Café, located in Aberdeen.
The café also posts photos of the signs, some of which are inspired from suggestions by customers, on its popular Facebook page.
Owner Martin Vicca explained he originally bought the board to advertise the café’s daily specials but instead decided to have some fun with his sandwich puns.
He told Metro.co.uk : “Originally the idea was to use the board to publish the daily specials and I just put out a board as we were not quite organised to do any yet.
“It’s too busy in summer to cope. Things went downhill from there.”
LIVERPOOL CLASSIC!
A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids. >
‘WOW!’ the social worker exclaims, ‘Are they ALL > yours? ‘Yeah, they are all mine,’ the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, ‘Sit down Terry.’ All the children rush to find seats.
‘Well,’ says the social worker, ‘you must be here to sign up. I’ll need all your children’s names.’
‘This one’s my oldest – he is Terry.’
‘OK, and who’s next?’ ‘Well, this one is Terry, too.’
The social worker raises an eyebrow but she continues, one by one, through the oldest four boys, all named Terry.
The value of guns in the wild
| Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With .25 Calibre Pistol.
This is a story of self control and marksmanship. A woman survived a grizzly bear attack with one well placed shot from her itsy bitsy .25 caliber Beretta Jetfire. These are her own words: While out hiking in Missoula, Montana, with my boyfriend, we were surprised when a huge grizzly bear came charging at us out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire, I would not be here today! I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot. It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap and the bear caught him easily. While the grizzly mauled him, I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. I love that pistol. I’ll find other boyfriends. |
This Week’s Jokes
I thought I’d share a few ‘silly’ jokes this week – so you’ll have one per day.
Monday.The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. Continue reading
Eileen and her husband John went for counselling after 25 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. Continue reading
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
Welcome to Mark & Shanti’s lovely, rural farmhouse B&B, which uses the best local products for a traditional Aga cooked breakfast. Continue reading
Man is all ‘goosed up’! Are they in love?
Not particularly funny but a very sweet story – another ‘must watch’
see link to follow: Continue reading
Video of Lord Alan Sugar and The Apprentices – a must watch funny.
All Credit to Cassette Boy.
StevesFunnies.com 