Category: funny
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“The Parrot is Dead?”
At dawn the telephone rings, “Hello, Senor Steve? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house. I am sorry to bother you whilst you are in your holiday villa in France, taking a few weeks off from your busy schedule.” “Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you?…
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Anger Management
When you have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know – and someone who deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a…
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Disciplining the Children
Most people nowadays think it improper to discipline children, so a friend of mine has tried other methods to control his kids when they have had one of ‘those moments.’ Since he is a pilot, one that he has found very effective is to just take the child for a…
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The British in Afghanistan
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties. The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?” The soldier replied, “There…
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Lawyer Story of the Year
BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY This took place in Charlotte , North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great…
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Radio Interview with Australian Major General
For those that don’t know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian. General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the…
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The Doctor’s receptionist
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients… As he approached the receptionist‘s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. …
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Paddy meets a Hooker one night….
An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman lurking in the shadows. “Twenty dollars,” she whispers. Paddy had never had a hooker before, but decides – what the hell, it’s only twenty bucks. So they get it together in the bushes.
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Tough-Guy Legend…
A group of Hell’s Angels bikers were riding around Clifton in Bristol when they saw a girl, dressed in a tight outfit made of leather about to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge, so they stopped just by her.
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